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Sources: Yahoo! Finance; MarketWatch; djindexes.com; U.S. Treasury; London Bullion Market Association.
Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Indices are unmanaged and cannot be invested into directly. N/A means not applicable.
BACK TO SCHOOL. Across the country, school supplies have been purchased and many children have returned to the classroom to start a new school year. The give and take between teachers and students can produce some memorable – and humorous – moments. The following are from stories shared in Reader’s Digest.
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: It’s still in my pencil.
Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
Teacher: How would you make the world a better place?
Student: I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.
Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at 6:45. How long was Mira at the library?
Student: Not long.
Teacher: Why do you think our librarian is leaving?
Student: Because she’s read all our books?
Teacher: In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, a man who is discontented with his life, wakes up to find he has been transformed into a large, disgusting insect.
Student: So, is this fiction or nonfiction?
Teacher: Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?
Student: My glasses are for reading, not math.
What are your favorite school stories?
Weekly Focus – Think About It
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.”
—Khalil Gibran, writer and poet
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